My husband’s friend, who yearns for me, splashed money out on me: you wouldn’t guess what followed

Published 14 June 2016

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Dear Ola,

I'm a housewife. I live with my husband and children in one room, in a ten-room house with a common kitchen and a common lav.

I have a caring husband who meets my every need that is within his means. And I have never been unfaithful to my husband, due to my religious beliefs.

Occasionally, my husband's male friends give me gifts of money, ranging up to five hundred naira.

But there is a friend of my husband who wants me badly. And I tell him in no uncertain words that I can't have an affair with him or anyone.

This friend of my husband came to visit us on Sunday. I had a slight cough. When he was about to leave, my husband requested to quickly use the lav before seeing him off. But my husband's friend said that he had an appointment to keep at home and that I could see him off—which my husband accepted.

When my husband's friend and I were to part, he gave me five thousand naira! To take care of my self, he said. And I can definitely use the money.

But what followed? My girl friend says I should tell my husband about the money—which my husband may frown on. My girl friend says the gift can come out in future and that won't be a good way for my husband to find out about it.

So now I think maybe I shouldn't have taken the money and I should return it.

What would you advise me to do please?

—Titi, in Lagos Mainland

Dear Titi,

Your girl friend is right: Tell your husband about the gift from his friend.

If your husband says you should return the money, return it at the next opportunity that you have. If he says you should keep the money, keep it. If he says you should do whatever you please, keep the money. You did not lead on your husband's friend; you made it clear to him that you can't have an affair with him.

—Ola

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